never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
