I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
