what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
