Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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