I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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