Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
