i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
