You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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