We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize