drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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