YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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