Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
