I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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