Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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