Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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