can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
