when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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