what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
