ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Couch. On fire.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
