You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
