I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
