so explain again why im purple
no
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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