your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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