Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
