Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
