there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
