hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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