Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Hippo gnu deer
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
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