I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
