I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize