who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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