Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
