I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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