Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
