i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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