Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
