i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
