Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
