oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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