He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
