does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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