dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
