he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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