operation harelip BJ is a go
i will never coherently bang her
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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