38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
