I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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