That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
