Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
