People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
