can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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