We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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