I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
