You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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