wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
