my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
