did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
