She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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