kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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