barbara walters just said penis...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
