On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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