Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
