last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
