If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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