I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
