You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
