and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
